Maybe I can let my fingers loose again and start writing something down.
I still can remember flying the borders of South East Asia to a far away land in North West Europe.
I thought that will be my first and last step in the cool land and to feel the icy-cold breeze of the Netherlands.
I remember getting to know this one man without any ‘intentions’ and just be there to listen and to learn.
I clearly can reminisce and tell back the story word-by-word and letter-after-letter to anyone who would be interested as we sat there silently saying ‘goodbye’ to each other but actually was, now I know, ‘see you soon..’
I remember not having enough sleep as we made our way to Amsterdam and touring Volendam the whole day with ex-colleagues – with my mind left in Maastricht.
Thinking about that one man.
I remembered how I felt when the plane took-off from Schipol Airport that one windy Saturday night.
And the story goes from there.
How I wake up the following mornings in my bed in downtown Petaling Jaya with a smile on my face and enjoying the softness of my pillows and the bed covers.
And running to my laptop and switching it on.
To find him at the other side of the world waiting for me to come online.
How we fought and battled to stay connected despite the distance and boundaries, how we cried, how I cried.
How I treated and got treated for having love him. How he was treated for loving me.
The difficulties and stresses I have had while learning Dutch!
How that 1 hour of exam felt like eternity in the NL Embassy. And passed.
And I know immediately that my happily ever after is about to start.
How I cried more, and cried again.
The euros that he spent to call me just to assure me that everything will be alright.
The hardships of seeing him suffer to keep the flame alive.
My travels to the Philippines. My saying ‘see you soon’ to my family for I may be away for a long time.
How our relationship helped me be closer to my family, my relatives.
How he tried to reach out to them and assuring them that I will be in good hands – if not better.
How we fought. And cried. And laughed about it afterwards.
And all of these – were made possible by internet connection and staying online. And the phone.
My plane tickets. Everything.
And finally, I landed. And he was there with that big smile and his mother in tears waiting for me.
And I secretly thanked God for the gift.
And I stayed. And I am here.
Today is my 4th month in The Netherlands.
Just a few minutes ago I knew Simba burnt his whiskers and the hair in his paw from the candles in the dining table because I can smell a burning smell.
Now I can see the man I love working again!! (Again????) :p
And today we saw our baby.
And the little angel is now 7 centimeters long.
I am loving life.
They are the pills that keep me alive.
#Posted on Facebook Notes on Tuesday, November 22, 2011 at 9:40pm