Pinpoint a moment in your past where you had to make a big decision. Write about that other alternate life that could have unfolded.
I have to admit this theme is making my mind go bonkers! I have a lot of this experience that am sure if chosen otherwise, I might not be sitting in this couch in the chilly living room of our home at 21:00 this warm summer of 2013 with worries on Zoë clouding my mind.
During the Philippine Summer of 2010, I was offered 3 different jobs in 3 different companies – all of which offered a good enough deal, if not better than the job I dearly loved that time.
Two of these jobs were in the Philippines: 1 in Cebu, the other in Manila (both of which were big contact centers). The salaries and packages were very competitive. Had I not been given options by fate? I would have accepted either/or.
The other position was in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I was called by a recruitment center from Manila asking me if I wanted to work in Kuala Lumpur (I said “Why not?”), then I was interviewed by the Managers (to which I found out that I am applying for DHL), spoken to by the Human Resource the day following the interview with the initial offer, offered a package (that was almost the same as the offers with the contact centers in the Philippines – why then go away?) and contracts sent. All this time, I just sort of went with the flow. Thinking back, I think, I didn’t even know what I was doing. What I knew was, I said “No” to the offers in the Philippines and accepted the flight to distant Malaysia – a place where I do not know a single soul and is not sure if the papers sent to me were all legal. I took the risk, took the Cebu Pacific Flight to Kuala Lumpur, jumped into the luxurious car of the Hilton Hotel in Petaling Jaya, enjoyed the breakfast buffet, etc.
I knew from that moment on, my life is going to change. I was not wrong.
Six months after that, I was sent to the Netherlands for a training.
A year after that, I found myself back in the Netherlands to be with the man I love.
A year and less than 2 months after, we have Zoë.
1. If I have not chosen Malaysia, I might still be living the same life in the Philippines, only with more money than when I was a trainer.
2. Have I not chosen love, I might be still in Kuala Lumpur now enjoying weekends with my friends rampaging on malls, going to church every Sunday with Ma’am Amy and Thina and eating lunch and dinner at different restaurants in MidValley in KL.
3. If I chose the Philippines and/or still in KL, I am still supporting my “whole” family in the Philippines by sending money every month. Maybe I look order. Maybe we already have built a house for my grandmother as well. Maybe I would have physically hurt my mother’s ex-husband.
4. Have I not chosen to be here in the Netherlands, I think I have a different cat for a pet and has not gotten Simba as a gift.
5. Have I not been sent here by my Manager for training on that winter of 2010, I might not have met Armand (1). If I stayed in one of the jobs in the Philippines, I might not have met Armand (2). Then I was still the niece who took after her father’s sister spinster’s life.
6. If chose to stay in my old job, or stayed in the Philippines, then I would not have known people from other races and make friends with them. I might still be that same filipina.
7. If I chose not to resign as a trainer; if I chose one of the job offers in the Philippines; if I have not chosen Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia; if I wasn’t sent to NL for workshadowing on 2010; Have I not allowed myself to fall inlove with a good man – I WILL NOT HAVE KNOWN WHAT TRUE AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE MEANS.
It means giving your life and risking everything for your child. Love means Zoë.
Unconditional Love means Armand.