I have not forgotten you, nor abandon you. I am just taking a break from this makeshift world that I created for myself.
You know that you have always been my bestfriend. My greatest listener. You just listen to my keyboard and document everything. You never complain. Not once did I hear you complain about the bullshits/tantrums/blabbers and all that I send your way.
Right now, I am just here. Facing the real world away from you, away from my laptop. There is just too much now for me to handle that I want to tell you that I will be back real soon.
I got my permanent contract. I went on training for the new project. I am now working for a totally different line of work. Preparing for one of the greatest events of my life, very very busy with being a housekeeper and a partner, and now – Zoë was very ill for the past few days, is recovering, but is still not ok.
She is back to her normal self little by little everyday. But today, she had a lot of bouts of diarrhea again.
I think we really have to take her to the doctor. But this time, we will be asking for a real doctor and not that unprofessional bitch who kept on insisting that we give Zoë 6 paracetamols per day. When I asked her if that was ok – 6 paracetamols per day – she answered in her “very good English” that she only understands: “What would you want her? Better or not?”
The day before yesterday when we went to the the clinic of the family doctor, she was the same physician who attended to my child and said that she cannot find anything and that paracetamol is ok. When I asked “Is there no other medication? Just that?”, she looked at me causing my mother-in-law to translate it for her in Dutch. She then replied to my mother-in-law (in Dutch), “Yeah, I understood what she said. My English is very good.”
And the next day she can’t even find the equivalent English word for “cheek”. (I don’t know how she said it in Dutch. Armand translated it for her).
I am just a worried-sick mama. My family is not here. I wish my grandmother is here for she knows everything. But she is also too old now, so I think it is ok. I wish my Tita Pinky is here so she can tell me what not or what to do.
I am blessed still, for my mother-in-law loves my Zoë so much – that like me, she will conquer hell for my daughter.
I will be back, dear blog.