I know that you will feel the change that will be happening in the next few weeks – as little as you still are – you are very smart. Your Papa and your Oma have been convincing Mama that you really like it now at the crèche/school, yet still, I don’t know. This pain is really piercing Mama’s heart.
I know that my decision would be leading to this. I thought I would be prepared.
Now I know that I never would be prepared and not being with you on Tuesdays and Thursdays would be really different. And weird. And different.
We will both make it through. We are Papa’s strong girls.
You are growing up so fast. The first and last time I wrote you a letter was when Mama went back to work after her 16-weeks Maternity Leave. That was on August or September 2012. You were just 3 months then – and well, a baby! Now that Mama is about to work full-time again, 40 hours per week, I am writing you this to let you know how much Mama loves you.
You will be turning 3 years old on May. How time flies.
I know you love me too. You tell me this countless times per day, that I promise, I really lose count every-single-time. Sometimes you shout out the words like you are just playing around (I LOVE YA! I LOVE YA! I LOVE YA MAMA!); some other time you grab me by the neck and whisper the words in Mama’s ear (I love you Mama).
I love you, too, baby. So much!
Before you arrived, I never knew that this kind of love exists! You just fill up my whole being. No matter the tiredness from work – once I see your face light up every time I enter the door – I melt.
And then I am filled with energy again.
You have the same effect on Papa.
You know that you can really be demanding at times. No, make that most of the time. This you got from your father and I can say that he is really proud about this. You know what you want and you go al the way and assert yourself to be heard, to be paid attention to, and to be given what you want.
You know how to say “No”. And sometimes, you are just downright stubborn! (What would we be expecting if 2 very stubborn persons had a baby??)
You are a tech savvy (though Mama tries to hide this truth from other people. You are just too young and I don’t want you to grow up lazy!)
Before you turned 2 years old you already had an idea as to how the iPad works. You know how the touchscreen works. At 2 years, you knew how to say “Top Top” for laptop, iTad for iPad, and will always ask for “ABCD” in Youtube. You also found the magic of Paint and you are so fascinated with the emoticons in Skype and Viber.
At this stage, you can also already sing the Alphabet in English. You can sing almost all the Nursery Rhymes (in English) with Mama. You know how to sing the “Incy Wincy Spider” with your fingers. You also teach Mama how to sing in Dutch and gets frustrated if I could only hum along.
You are really, really doing a good job.
As advanced as you are with using the electronic gadgets at home, you also love to paint, color, cut things, paste colored papers, play with stamps, play with legos, play dough (and put them in your mouth! No play dough’s now for you!) and pretend to read books (you read the words letter by letter)! You love your books a lot!
I am so proud as you also can name each and everyone of the Disney Princesses! You love Mulan above all else. And oh, you love Lightning McQueen and Mater!
You can recognize shapes and forms. You know the shapes well in the English language and can translate them in Dutch.
My bilingual baby!
And since you know the letters of the alphabet by heart (you just flip if you see letters and numbers!), you now can read and spell your name (aside from Bingo!). You found out that most of the things inside your bedroom had been personalized for you. You love that they all have your name written on them!
Wow, you can also eat! Your Opa even said that you have the appetite of your Mama! Well, my appetite. I am so happy about this. Please do not ever change. You really have to eat. Milk? We forgive you for not drinking your milk for now, as long as you drink your orange juice and you love your yoghurt!
My baby. Please know that Mama is doing this for your future. Please know that your Papa and I only want what is best for you. You are the world to us, our everything. We will do anything, and everything, for you.
We will not be spending Thursdays together for the next months to come. Please know, my sweet, sweet Baby, that Mama, no matter where she might be, is always, always thinking about you.
Mama will do her best to make the most of our times together – if we are all at home. No phone. No blogs. No facebook.
Just Baby, until Baby goes to bed.
Good night my love.
I love you,
P.S. I know a lot of Filipino parents who are working away from their children. Away from their families. The sacrifices that they do for their love ones. I am only going to work like any normal office employee for 8 hours everyday and still go home to my family at the end of the day, yet I feel really challenged.
I don’t think I would be able to do the same.
You all have my greatest respect!