1.5 years ago when my grandmother died, I had to leave for the Philippines alone for 3 weeks. My husband and my daughter stayed in the Netherlands.
Since the moment I came back, My daughter never wanted to sleep alone anymore at night. I would wait until she falls asleep and sneak out. She would wake up during the wee hours of the morning and call for me.
We informed her Pediatrician. She told us that if it doesn’t bother me then it’s fine.
Last week I flew to Warsaw for 3 days and 2 nights for a business trip. This is her now.
Afraid that I would leave everytime I walk out the door.
Being a Filipino, I am used to seeing children sleeping with their parents in bed. I, myself, slept with my grandmother in the same bed until I was 22! I had been sleeping with her and beside her from the moment I was born!
To be really honest, my daughter never slept with us when she was a newborn. I can only remember her with us in bed for a few days when she was not feeling well. This story surprised the hell out of my aunts and uncles from the Philippines when I told them. A baby needs her mother in bed, they said.
(Unfortunately and Fortunately) I live in Europe, and here, children are taught to be independent from day 1.
Every man for himself.
My European family and friends (not the pinoys in EU) find it wrong that I sleep with my daughter. I should teach her to sleep alone in her bed, they said.
The pediatrician is also saying the same thing now (after 1.5 years of paired sleeping)- that on our next holiday we should practice ignoring her cries again and teach her to be independent and sleep alone.
Again, I really don’t mind. But I have to admit, it gets tiring sometimes as she is always – ALWAYS – with me (on my lap, sitting beside me with her arm around my arm, or just following me around the house when we’re together during the day).
It is easy in the Philippines as relatives help take care of each other’s children. I took care of my younger cousins and siblings since I was 9 years old.
This is expected.
It is not expected in the Netherlands. You make children, you raise them yourself. (And I totally agree!)
I have seen the best of both worlds.
What I know is my Z is growing up really fast. I am sure at some point soon, she would stop wanting to sleep with me in the same bed.
Until then, I really don’t mind that I have to stand up at 3am to transfer to her bedroom and to be cuddled in her tiny arms.